tricks and the mythical long boarder

Ok - I'll admit it. I hate tricks. And not just because I can't really do them. I just hate them. All of them. I hate the idea of them. But hey, each to their own.

Who is the mythical long boarder you ask. Well you may not have asked, but who cares. I can't tell you who the mythical long boarder is because he is mythical, isn't he? My girlfriend (yes, I do have one) reckons that the mythical long boarder is not mythical because he is actually real. She has seen him. I have seen him too, but only at mythical times, like dawn and only doing generally mythical things like carving down the big hill near where I live (Coogee in Sydney, Australia - you know in Europe) doing these mad 180 degree standing up sliding turns and generally ripping along.

Oh yeah, I've seen him other times too, like in the almost dark in Sydney, in the rain going down the centre lane of Oxford Street (a really big and busy street) in the middle of about a thousand and one cars trucks and busses. Yeah - that's the mythical fucking long boarder for you. He doesn't do any tricks, he just rides that mo fo like a ghost. He is the ghost who skates.

If you're lucky enough to ever see the mythical longboarder, you'll know straightaway - no mortal man can skate like that. Not even Brad Edwards, although he is pretty close.

Vote 1 Skatepark

It's election time in this part of the world (Sydney, Australia) and amazingly not one single party has campaigned on the only two issues that matter: building skateparks and legalising dope. Obviously, the world is a better place with more skateparks. Even 'street' parks are better than nothing. Big parks with bowls, banks, weird looking street things and heaps of other stuff are even better. And what about putting lights in them so that they can be used all night. I'd vote for that.

And the dope? We've been waiting for decades now but it just gets worse. The jails are full (and full of dope, too) of people that are either mentally ill or addicted to drugs of one sort or another. We hear daily expressions like the 'war on drugs'. Who cares? Personally I don't like alcohol. I can barely even drink one drink before I feel sick. On the other hand, I have an almost superhuman ability to smoke drugs. I'm not saying drugs, or addiction, are good. They are not, but why should drunks get, well, drunk and everyone else who chooses a different poison go to jail. I don't get that.

All things considered, I'd rather go skateboarding than do drugs anyway. For me, the two things don't really go together. Some of the boys like a spliff or a even a beer before and during skateboarding sessions, but I eat enough concrete as it is - if I'm stoned I lose a bit of judgment and pay for it with skin.

Come election day I'm going skating.

This is Five Dock, Sydney, Australia, part of it, anyway. The old bowl, below, is kind of rougher than it actually looks in this photo. And it looks pretty rough. I read somewhere that it was once voted the worst skate bowls in Sydney. Or maybe even Australia. I think it was one of the first, anyway. A couple of years ago it totally done over, except the old bowl stayed.

The new bowl is bigger than shown in the picture, above. That is the little part of it. There are two more connected bowls and I think the highest part is about 14 foot high, the lowest is about 6 foot high.

The other thing is called the shell. Well I call it the shell. It is just a little bit of fun. I like it cause when I first came to Five Dock and couldn't really do much more than stand on a board one of the old blokes told me to just go in it as fast as possible and turn and come out again. I went charging in and just smashed up.

The old bowl is past vertical and fairly tight and shaped like a bath. No one goes in it much, but there are legends about the occasional pro or drunk person that (some fucking how) drops in and does some amazing stuff.

The other day I attempted to impress my children and everyone else by rolling in on my BE40 which was interesting, but of course no one even noticed. Well my kids did, I suppose, but they just thought I was a wanker.

The new bowl is like this perfectly shaped and surfaced thing. One of these days when no one is around, I'll give the BE a go there - oddly enough I am more confident since breaking my leg, which doesn't really make sense, but who cares.

Getting there

For the first time this year I made it to Five Dock on Sunday morning (yesterday). It was supposed to be raining, but luckily they got that one wrong. Apart from being a bit cold (by Sydney standards) it was perfect. Just to be safe, I got there at 7 in the morning - the sun was only just up. I couldn't sleep anyway, so I didn't mind getting up early.

I took two boards. The BE 40 and a nice wide pool board (Lucero). My leg is still pretty messed up (from being broken) so I tried to take it easy. When I got there the place was empty. I tried to drop in on the BE 40 on a tiny little ramp just to see what it was like. To my surprise it was easier than my other (smaller) boards. I was really able to punch the front down.

I didn't drop in to the bowl, though. I had a bit of a skate around from a little roll in part (you really have to drop in at Five Dock) for fun. I made it around the shell (backside) no problems. I even went on a historical adventure into the olde bowle. Those boys didn't mess around. The old bowl isn't actually a bowl. It is a cigar shaped trench that has rough, high, tight surfaces and looks, compared to the modern skate bowl - completely unrideable.

The BE was so nice to ride, I didn't even get the other board out.

well who knew?

So who knew? I didn't. I can sort of walk now, so I can also sort of skate. I tried a new set up today - Randalls on the front and trackers on the back (of the BE 40 inch). Well, who effn knew that would work so damn well. It feels more like my surfboard than my surfboard. The Randalls, as i have said before, are like having a steering wheel. The trackers at the back just keep the whole thing nice and stable.

I really really like this board now.

who is brad edwards anyway

Who is brad edwards anyway. I don't know but that there is a brad edwards deck. You can't really see very well, but it's 40 inches long. cool. Those are tracker 161s. yay. still having a fairly well smashed leg, it is hard to really offer much of a review of this board, except to say that i like it a lot.

I have gone up to the snake run at dully. It seems to attract different sorts of looks to the old school set up, which usually seems to incite some sort of bemused respect. This board just gets wtf are you doing here type looks. It doesn't help that i can't skate. Well i can skate but I can't really walk, so getting of the board is kind of weird and involves a lot of hopping and falling.

But I don't care cause this deck is the business. I feel so stable. I've seen someone do stuff on it that would be pretty impressive on a lightweight trick board, like jump over shit and shit. But I can't do that shit anyway, so who cares?

That's not me on the left, by the way, that's the 'shell' at Fivedock. It is a little thing next to the real bowls that i like to have some fun on. That guy, who i don't know, was pissing in from the front and trying to grind across the top. Its a shade over vertical at the top and he almost made it, which was kind of impressive.

This deck carves like... um....

I got this deck after I broke my leg, so I haven't really had much of a chance to ride it yet. Just a few little runs down a Dully - the old Dully. I can tell it's going to be cool though. It's not like my other deck cause the trucks are really really loose and it turns like a surfboard - you just lean and let it go.

A kid who can actually skate the other day had a go on it he ripped on it. I can't wait.

I've got another even cooler (I hope) deck on order. Its 40 inches but basically a new school shape, so to me it's really like a small board. I'm hoping to use it in the bowls if my leg ever gets better. Can't wait.

Longboards efn rock

Who knew? I'm still using a walking stick, but hell, I'm only human. So yesterday I took the longboard for a spin at Dulwhich Hill skatepark (where else). My leg really hurts a lot, but I can stand on a skateboard. I just can't get off once I get on.

Anyway, the longboard rocks. It turns like its got a steering wheel and has really big wheels (70mm) that just go over all the crap in the bowl without even blinking. Which is not a bad thing when you're skating with one good leg.

I don't know how far I'll go into longboarding. I would like to learn to slide, but that feels like a bit of a way at the moment. I could only skate for about 10 minutes before the pain got to me. By the end I really couldn't physically lift my leg, so I just had to stop and fall over, which was cool in a completely retarded sort of way.

its been a long time

Nine weeks ago I broke my leg dropping in to the bowl at Balmoral. I can now almost walk without crutches or a stick now. In about two weeks I will be able to skate again.

Last week I bought a new board. I never thought I would say this, but I bought a long board. Well they call it a long board and I guess it is a bit long - about 37 inches, but it is also an old school type board as well, not one of those serious new long boards for going down hills at a million miles an hour. But it is long. And it has big soft wheels too, and trucks that turn, like really turn (they are Randalls if anyone is interested).

So I got my eight year old son to try out the long board on the old snake run at Dulwich Hill (where else?). On his second run down he hit a fat kid on a bike and flattened him. It was hard not too laugh and also hard not to smash the kid's dad with my walking stick. No one was hurt.

bad reputation

The other day my elderly neighbour looked sympathetically at me as I struggled up the stairs on my recently acquired crutches. "Did you do it skiing?" she asked. "Skateboarding," I replied. Her expression changed from sympathy to contempt, "oh," she said and walked off.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being told "how juvenile" and "don't you think it's time to grow up" and "how emabarassing for you".

The winter olympics are on right now and pretty much every sport seems to invite death or serious injury, but I don't hear anyone saying "how juvenile" when someone decides to go head first down an ice track at over 100kmh.

Skating does have a seriously bad reputation - I guess that's part of the attraction.

Oh, there's only two weeks and one day to go before I can begin to start to walk again - yay. Can't wait to get back on a board.

broken legs do actually suck

Yes they do. It has been almost two weeks now since I tried to drop into a bowl that was just a bit too much. I don't really know what happened and no one was there to tell me. All I know is I went to drop in, about a seven foot drop, and next thing I was lying on the bottom of the bowl with my leg moving in all the wrong ways. The drop is vertical for about two feet and then pretty smooth. I guess I just didn't get far enough forward, but I really don't know.

Now I am completely bored. My leg hurts a lot and they didn't give me nearly enough drugs to make it comfortable. I can't do anything. My work is getting really stressful cause no one cares. It really does suck.

To pass the time I have bought another skateboard on line. It is an old school John Lucero board. I love it, although of course I haven't used it yet. I am determined to get back on a board. I will need to take it easy though. This is one experience I would prefer not to repeat any time soon.

didn't see that coming

In the last few days I've had a lot of drugs. All sorts. Morphine and this stuff called ketamine. A lot of really famous skaters have come a bit unstuck on drugs - not me, though. These drugs were strictly medicinal.

My last trip to the skate bowl ended with two ambulances and a firetruck turning up and me being stretchered out by a bunch of ambulance drivers and firemen. I didnt really need to be told my leg was broken - I could feel it moving about in all sorts of new ways as soon as I hit the bottom of the bowl.

I was by myself and had to just yell out until someone came and helped me. Five days later and I'm back home - nice new steel insert up the middle of my leg bone and three months at least off the board. Hate that.

Getting there

I've been skating practically every day lately. Yay. I mainly go to the mini ramp at Glebe after work, at night, when I am alone.

Today I went to Dulwich Hill - a pretty good skatepark, but I can't really skate it, although I am getting a bit better and can now at least drop in on a few of the ramps, most of them actually.

My new board is really good. I haven't really had a bad crash on it yet, except for the time this kid on a bike got in the way - that was bad, especially for him. Poor kid. First I ran him over and then I yelled at him. I did calm down and ask if he was ok, though.

Now that I can get into the bowls/ramps etc, I want to get speed - but I can't. I just coast along like a big blob. Maybe I'm too fat?

Anyway, trying to upload a video, but having no luck.

back to skool

Yeah, well it's just been the end of the silly season. For the technically minded, I started my skateboarding career on an off the shelf board I bought in a shoe shop. After about two days I bought a bigger board - just a bit wider - cause even though I couldn't stand on a skateboard, I read that if you want to skate 'vert' you need a bigger board. Plus I'm about 6 foot 5.

So I bought a new one, you know, the new school shape, just a bit bigger, and some 60mm wheels cause I wanted to go 'really fast'. That board has been good. I didn't realise then that it would be a board that Danny Way would probably ride. I actually didn't know who Danny Way was. The wheels were as hard as glass and went like f***.

Eventually I got some wider trucks in an effort to fall off a bit less, cause even though things were going well, I was still having too many bone crunching crashes. Just before Christmas I was walking with a limp and had a dead arm.

Anyway, being the silly season and all, I bought another skateboard, pictured. It is big, wide and old. I got the widest Indys available (I believe the ones DW uses) and some bowl wheels and took it to the mini-ramp.

This board is the business. It is so stable, so different. I have been twice to the mini ramp, where I fell just before Christmas and it was incredible. I guess when you're 45 years old, being old school isn't such a bad idea.